she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
