i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize