You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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