I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
