i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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