I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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