Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
