Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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