His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
