the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
