she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
