if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
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Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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