Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
