I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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