She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
