part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
