Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
