just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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