I'm really into asian looking animals
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
