Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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