sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is it because I queefed?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We got so high we made milksteak
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
