All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
