loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
