i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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