it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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