I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
