Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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