i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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