I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize