her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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