Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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