I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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