Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize