the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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