i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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