ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
