watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you traded sex for a burrito?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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