okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
