that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize