I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
