You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
