dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize