I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
