i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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