people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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