is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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