he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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