We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
