If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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