now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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