So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
