Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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