yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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