The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
