it's not cheating when I paid for it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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