I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize