After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
